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January Myst Writing Challenge

#1 User is offline   J'ohn 

  • oglahnth (ancient one)
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Posted 16 January 2006 - 03:25 AM

And here is January's challenge (and not a second too soon!), donated by Cactus Wren. :arianna:

Challenge: Two characters discuss an incident or emotional moment from a game or a novel. The story must be written in pure dialogue, or dialogue with minimal speech tags to establish who's talking.

Focus: Perspective and voice. Make the characters sound like themselves.

Length: 900 words or less

Submission deadline: February 28th, Midnight GMT

Additional guidelines: All entries must be your own original work, no plagiarism and should follow the tenets of MystCommunity's family rated language. WiP's (Works in Progress) are allowed if you would like to submit your work for feedback and suggestions prior to submitting your final entry. Please label all WIP's threads as: "January Challenge WiP".

SBS ;)

#2 User is offline   Korora 

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Posted 28 January 2006 - 10:00 PM

Note: Jiladis coughed more, but for clarity purposes I'm omitting most of it.

Part of a Conversation on an Intercity Bus from Albuquerque to Lubbock

Jiladis: I've had this cough for weeks. I made an appointment with the doctor, but given that I smoked a pack a day for seventy-eight years(and only quit last fall), I suspect lung cancer.
Yeesha: Ouch. Getting back on track, how DID you escape the Fall?
Jiladis: Well, I was returning to the Guild Hall when the ground shook and the Great Bell started ringing. I looked around and saw the deadly cloud spreading through the Cavern. I had a bad feeling about that, and I ran home ASAP.
Yeesha: Similar to what Aitrus and Ti'ana did.
Jiladis: I hid on the family Age of Anoziþ. I waited for my parents and my brother Šomat, but they never came. Daring a trip back, I met your great-grandfather. We buried the council members and he told me to go to the surface. I did so, first finding an Age that Veovis and A'Gaeris had not touched yet, called Eder Vog. I found my way to the surface and settled down in another cave. I'd taken some blank Korvaxtî with me, and had had enough training to be able to write a way back to my cave.
Yeesha: Sorry to hear about your family.
Jiladis: Gracias. Anyway, I married an Indian girl, and we started a family. We live on Anoziþ and Eder Vog.
Yeesha: Where did you say the Anoziþ and Eder Vog Kormantî are?
Jiladis: The Eder Vog Korman is on Anoziþ; the Anoziþ Korman is in a cave a ways west of the city limits along Highway 70.
Yeesha: Did anyone in your family ever try to make a splash?
Jiladis: Yes; in fact, I think my granddaughter Šama was responsible for the association of Roswell with UFOs. She never was one for hiding. She tried to make a vehicle from the light stone from Anoziþ and on July 2, 1947, crashed it. Three of her children died, and Šama took her own life a month later. [cries]
Yeesha: Sorry to hear that.
Bus Driver: We're pulling in at the Roswell stop. Everyone who wishes to get off at Roswell, it's time.
Jiladis: !Šora, Yeesha.
Yeesha: !Šora Hope you feel better and it's not bad.

#3 User is offline   Talashar 

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Posted 16 February 2006 - 11:11 AM

If you've played either Uru or End of Ages, or are willing to brave spoilers, read on.

Who Will Link the Broken Chain?

Click here to view a spoiler.


#4 User is offline   Zardoz 

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 07:53 PM

We will bring you

- I cannot do it alone.
- That is what your father said when you left. Maybe he was right about everything else.
- That sort of thinking does not help. My father did what he could, but the burden was just too great.
- And you are better than your father?
- He taught me all that he knew, but that was not enough. You know that.
- Of course.
- But I have learned more, more than he knew, more than he could even imagine.
- He could not imagine what we have done.
- I cannot do it alone.
- You said that. We know that.
- There are others coming, I have seen them, first those few, now others, so many others.
- What do you have in mind?
- I cannot do it alone, but we can show them, make them understand, they will want to help.
- Why would they help?
- If they have come this far, if they have made it this far, they must be called, it is inside of them.
- And so again, why would they help?
- Slowly we will show them. They are called here, yet they want to see more. I will let them. We will bring them to where we need them.
- We will use them for that, in that way?
- I must! What other choice do we have?
- Our father would be so proud. Desert bird! Desert bird!
- You mock me. What choice do we have?
- Worship.
- No! I have learned more than they ever could, more than the D’ni ever dreamed, but not that, they will not help if we make them do that.
- Worship.
- No, I will not. We broke the rules and paid the price, still pay the price, we will not do it again.
- Then, some will learn, and choose to help. But others will learn, and hate you, they will hate us.
- We cannot do this alone.
- No, we cannot.
- I am ready.
- Begin.
- Shorah. Rekooahn treCleft preniv legloen b'rem . . .
- Not in D'ni, they will not understand. Again.

#5 User is offline   River 

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 01:01 PM

Click here to view a spoiler.

Your Eyes...

You've forgotten, my love. It's alright. It's been so long, rest now. Let it go.

No! I've not forgotten! I won't forget! I'll never forget! I remember everything. I've had nothing to do but remember! I remember!

I forgive you. You can forgive yourself. In time so many things can be forgo...

Never! Never forgotten. I remember! I remember! I do! Please believe that I remember. You must believe.

I believe that you cannot forget us. That you cannot forget your child, your home, your world. But it's been twenty years. There are lines you do not know. There is grey where once there was red. One can forget what one has not known.

But I know. I must know. How could I not know? You know me. You remember me, do you not? Do you remember me, my love?

Ahhhh... Yes. I remember you, but here I have images, writings, objects. Your robe still holds the perfume of your sweat.


But what do you have there, my love? What do you have?

It's here. In my mind. And it's here, in my hand. See! The line of your jaw. I remember. The fall of you hair, like this, how it would swirl and flutter in the wind. And your lips. The memory of them burns still upon mine, surely I shall never forget.

Yes, the lips...

Your eyes... your eyes, they shone. They were... they were...

Rest now.

No! No! I won't rest! Not ever! Your eyes! They were bright, full of love. I know I must remember. I must remember.

My eyes are sad, my love. They have not been bright for many years. They are not what they were.

Noooo! They were - They ARE bright! And the color of... the color of... Oooowwwww!

It's alright.

Never! It shall never be alright! Never! I remember. I shall always remember. I shall make him remember. His accursed image, his eyes have stolen yours and I shall have them back. I will make him remember even as I take his eyes like he has taken yours! I shall remember!

yes, my love. yes...

NO! Don't leave me again! Don't go! Ooowwwww....

I remember. I remember. I remember...

#6 User is offline   Aurélie 

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Posted 10 March 2006 - 09:02 PM


"Dad? Where are you?"

"I'm in here, Yeesha."

"Can I go to the party in Releeshahn next week? Anna says all the kids there are going to go."

"Yes, if it's all right with Marrim and your mother."

"Thanks, Daddy...What's that?"

"Well now, you tell me. Sit down and take a look. "

"'s made of stone and -- look! Those words are D'ni! "

"Mhm. Now, what does it say? Do you know?"

" it some sort of generator?"

"Not quite. Don't focus on just the words. Look at how it's made, its condition, its shape."

"The Whole."

"Exactly, my Desert Bird."

"It looks old, but not as old as other things I've seen from D' it's a copy. And it has some sort of dial, and two metal --- it's a battery, isn't it!"

"Very good."

"Where did you get it? It's not really D'ni, is it?"

" you guessed, it was a copy. I made it when I was only a few years older than yourself."

"'s big. What was it for?"

"I was trying to to harness the energy from a volcano so that Anna -- my grandmother -- and I could have electricity."

"Did it work?"

"No. As I recall, I chose a vent with too much pressure. But perhaps....perhaps it was the right vent after all."

"What does that mean?"

"I didn't know it at the time, but when things went wrong because of the pressure, I stumbled into the entrance to D'ni. Of course, Anna came and got me before I really thought anything of it, but later I came back to get this. Well...snuck back, actually"

"Dad, you didn't!"

"I did. And she caught me. It was a long walk back home, and all the while I was expecting her to scold me."

"Did she?"

"No. But she made me promise I wouldn't go there again."

"I don't think that's very fair."

"Perhaps it wasn't, my Desert Bird, but I can understand why she did so. It's difficult, sometimes, when you have children. You worry that anything and everything could hurt them. Sometimes I wish I could write an Age and keep you there, you and your mother. Protect you, keep you safe."

"Tomahna's safe, though, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, sweetheart. Tomahna is very safe. I don't want you to worry and think otherwise. I suppose what I meant is that sometimes I wish I could keep things just the way they are now. Sometimes I wish you could be small forever, so I could keep you close to me. Can you understand that?"

"I think so."

"Good. Now, that's enough lecturing for today, don't you think? Let's go see what your mother is doing."

"Okay. She's probably in the greenhouse, right?"

"That's as good a guess as any."

"...Daddy? Are you sure you don't want me to stay home with you?"

"No, Chickadee, birds were made to fly. You go to your party."

"Okay. Do you think Mom will let me wear some of her things?"

"Perhaps. But Yeesha?"


"You already have her finest feathers."

"Dad! Hey! Put me down!"

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