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"The Death of Rats" Discworld filk

#1 User is offline   Korora 

  • oglahnth (ancient one)
  • Group: Veteran Member
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  • Joined: 30-October 02
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  • Location:Sun Prairie, Wisconsin

Posted 30 October 2011 - 11:44 AM

To the tune of "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats

---

There's a mouse in the larder
And it's eating our food, you know
And it's scattering food poisoning
Everywhere it goes
I say
There's a mouse in the pantry
And as you have guessed I really mind
For that's our lunch plus the donations for the
Omnian Food Drive
Hey mouse, just get!

We have got to destroy it
Got to make this mouse deceased
And how I wish that we had not lost our cat
To some really hungry thieves
So we set out a mousetrap
And we bait it with pork rinds
(And the reason that food is the one we choose is
It's nearing Hogswatch time)

And then
When the mouse takes the rind
It does not suspect a trap
And I go take a look
When I hear the thing go SNAP!
And when I look inside
I cannot believe my eyes
A small rat skeleton
Wielding a tiny scythe

It's The Death of Rats!
It is The Death of Rats!
It is The Death of Rats!

There's a judge here in Morpork
Who is clearly taking bribes
Many killers has he ruled to be Not Guilty
Many and many a time
I once witnessed a murder
But the judge's palm was greased
And he threw the case out on illogical doubts
Tried to get me for perjury

One day, this here judge to
Navigate the Shades he tries
And the Ankh-Morpork Watch
Say it was a suicide
Now who mugged and killed him
We may never rightly know
But it won't take da Quirm
To guess who scythed this judge's soul

I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
I'd say The Death of Rats!
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#2 User is offline   Allatwan 

  • Prime Minister of the Black Moiety
  • Group: Veteran Member
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  • Location:Far, far away... At the world's end
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Posted 30 October 2011 - 07:44 PM

Hahah, neat! :) I really enjoyed it.
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