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MYSTcommunity _ The Writings Workshop _ Mahnshooth- a D'ni murder

Posted by: Allatwan Oct 15 2009, 12:50 PM

Hi!

So, I've finally typed up the first two chapters of my latest fan-fiction, a D'ni mystery called "Mahnshooth", which means "death bringer"- so murder.
Just to say what it's about:
It's both a Myst and Agatha Christie fan-fic since I really got inspired by a French movie I saw recently that was "based" on one of her Hercule Poirot novel- I must say that knowing both versions, I liked Agatha Christie's better, since they have changed it too much, but the movie version was so interesting and "different" from what you usually see that I wanted to make "my own version". And since I wanted to write something Mysty again, but give "The Grower" a little break, here's "Mahnshooth- A D'ni murder". "Mahnshooth", for those of you who don't know, means "death-bringer" in D'ni. So there you go.
To understand the whole historical context, it's a parody of the pre-second-world-war era, the 30's, with the rise of facism, communism, etc, Franco in Spain, Hitler in Germany, and "peaceful France at any cost" just randomly "watching" everything from afar- like in the movie. Here, I changed it to king Dimath's reign, with the contestations of the Loshemanesh laws by sects of the "Blood of Yahvo" and stuff like that. Of course, the "Blood of Yahvo" is facism, "Dimath" is Blum, and lot's of stuff like that has been "transformed" or "distorted", so to speak. The characters have been changed too: in the movie, one of the brothers was a deputy, while here, he's just "close to the king", though politically connected to the "Blood of Yahvo", and Lehnah is the guy's wife's character, "D'nified", so to speak. And other characters have been merged, added, and so on.

So, tell me what you guys think, and if you DO find out, in the end, from which movie of Hercule Poirot book it's from, please don't mention it and stuff, 'coz it will ruin the ending!
Thanks for reading and commenting!

http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-prologue-139796906
http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-chapter-one-140372948

The second chapter is under way (let's just say I need to re-read it many times to edit it, make it shorter, ect, just like I did with the other one- which was why it took me a bit of time. Feel free to notify me of any problems, typos, anachronisms or anything like that! ^^ Thanks), don't worry! You'll soon see the connection between Shereen, Rubeydaa, Kalaj and the others... but I'm afraid it's not obvious at first. Still, you'll see! ^^

-Allatwan.

Posted by: Lostthyme Oct 17 2009, 01:04 PM

How interesting. I'll have to go read it.

Posted by: Allatwan Oct 19 2009, 12:30 PM

Thanks- and for your comments too! ^^ It's really nice when people comment!
BTW, http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-chapter-two-140811521 the next chapter! ^^

Posted by: Allatwan Dec 15 2009, 10:59 AM

OK, HUUUUGE bump and double post, but well...
Just wanted to post http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-chapter-three-146773057 and http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-chapter-four-146846288. The fifth and six are coming up this week, and then I'll write the next during the holidays (saturday, in France ^^ But I'll be internet-less, so you'll have to wait until I come back! ).
Don't forget to correct any grammar or spelling mistake you might notice that I could have left over- my computer's so-called grammar and spell-check doesn't work... ever since I taught it D'ni Maybe that was wrong... my OTHER computer took it well, though....
Anything weird too... just let me know!

Posted by: Allatwan Jan 9 2010, 09:11 AM

OK, I don't even know if anyone's reading this anymore, but I happen to have finished writing yet another chapter. So if anyone's interested anymore, it's http://allatwan.deviantart.com/art/Mahnshooth-chapter-5-149466720

Posted by: Lostthyme Jan 9 2010, 12:14 PM

I have to admit I fell off of the bandwagon on this one. Getting caught up with the chapters can be my project for the day.

Posted by: luna Jan 9 2010, 01:19 PM

I'm still reading and waiting for the next chapter and while you're writing on it you can also write something on "the grower" ( that was your other fanfic was it? my memory isn't working right now )

Posted by: Allatwan Jan 9 2010, 01:43 PM

ARGH! Yes, the following chapter of the Grower was coming up, but I have yet to convert it to html for deviant And to start illustrating it. BTW, LostThyme, that tutorial helped me A LOT! I'm working on Aalana's portrait right now thanks to it and better skectches of Kadish and Rytwannah. I haven't tried colouring them yet, but the whole "make the sketch lines in red/blue and delete those thanks to the programm's colouring effects" is simply awesome. I used to make such MESSY ones!
And I made a "meet your OC" thing on Deviant for Pedro, on Nyrunia's request. Johannes said she thought it would be interesting with Zenaida too so I'll make her. But I'd like to make one for my Mahnshooth characters. Which one or which two (I'll go up to two, not more then it gets too crowded) should I chose? I won't do Rytwannah and Karoneh yet, 'coz that's too much, but I might make it later! ^^ I have WAY too many fanfics to write Especially with that Cho one coming up!